iOwnTheWorld.com

Looky me, Valerie.

I Own The World.

+5

if moochelle is happy, I’M HAPPY. the tamale those 800,000 mexicans made is THIS BIG.

+4

Her ass is this wide, yes. No lie. I shit you not.

+7

“I did it! I got the election now, with all those wetbacks on my side!”

+5

“Com’here you little Moslem wench…gimme a great big hug for soaking the taxpayers for your daughter’s wedding.”

+5

Yup just as you said they would Valerie, the MSM fools believed the lie that was this big.

+3

Sometimes I like me this much…

+6

Mr. Baracky the Progressive Poo
Small and brown he comes from you
Sit on the toilet here he comes
Squeeze him between your festive buns

+4

Give me your tired and poor…oops, wrong speech.

+1

I’m your puppet.

(If you look closely, you can see the strings).

0

Who said; “How big is Barry?”

SOooooOOOOooooo big!

+2

It was only an itty-bitty lie,

+1

“I grew out debts and deficit by THIS MUCH.”

0

“I grew our debts and deficit by THIS MUCH.”

+3

Ok, NOW does my hand cover up that young illegal back there?

+2

Explain again, Valerie, how standing like this gets me more votes?

+2

Look “Ma”, No Hands!

0

@Robert Fine – WINNER

+1

Not everyone can do this…and chew gum.

+1

I have a bunch of other moves, too.

0

Hey Val! Wasn’t I fantastic when I put that Munro clown in his place during my speech? And the words weren’t even on the teleprompter…

+1

I dance and sing a little, too.

0

“This is how much crap I can feed the media every time I speak”

+3

See, I can levitate.

Uhhh, your feet are still on the ground.

Racist.

+3

“I’m black and get away with anything I want…see, no holes in my hands like that Jew guy.”

+4

Here, Val, sniff my pits before I have to put my arms down.

Those cells I’ve got planned for real Americans will be about so square.

+1

That wedding present portrait of me I got for your daughter is about this big.

+4

I did good, didn’t I?

+1

I hate you thisssssssss much.

+1

There’s gonna be a hole about this big in the Constitution of the United States when we get done.

(But Robert Fine did nail it!)

+1

I want everything…

0

Everything is mine, mine, mine.

+1

Yes, I’m this pathetic.

+3

Unholy frijoles! The border is WIDE open. Welcome amigos to The United States of Mexico!

+1

I’ve got the whole world in my hands

0

My “Love” boy is THIS big!

+1

Barry: “That’s right, my dick is THIS big.”

Valerie: “It’s still tiny compared to your ego.”

+3

“Hey, yer not a dude, but gimme a BIG hug anyway!!!”

+2

This is my answer to a border fence…

+2

My ego is this big.

+2

I lie this much.

+2

If I was Pinnochio my nose would be this long.

+2

“Back then we had to hunt our own dinner. I once caught a dog THIS big!”

+7

Moose ate a dozen tamales this long.IN ONE SITTING!

0

Hell yes I’m more famous than Jesus Christ!

+1

My God I’m the biggest Rock Star on the planet!

+1

“And then after the election, I told Michelle, ‘I’m King of the World!’”

+1

@Corona — What do you have against Mike Hunt?

+1

I’m numero uno by this much.

0

Tall tales and long tails..I’m a winner.

0

I’m the best president by this much.

+1

Ya wanna see my etchings;)

+1

CAPTION: Look at ME! I’m a fucking asshole!

+3

“That’s very good. When drowning in debt remember to keep your arms outstretched and hold your breath.”
“OK, what’s next?”
“Just keep holding your breath. STFU and keep holding your breath.”
“I’m dead, aren’t I?”

+1

We are going to loose this election by this much!

+2

I love me thiiiiiiiiis much!

No wait, Michelle loves me thiiiiiiiis much!

No wait, Putin loves me thiiiiiiiiis much!

No wait, Bo loves me thiiiiiiis much!

+1

See if you can find a guy with a cock this big, I feel like swallowing a hole lot of meat tonight……..

+2

You wanna see how I fly my drones?

+1

no really, go ahead…poke me, I’m Jesus

+1

“And then Sinclair brought out a string of anal beads this long…”

Forgive me Lord.

+1

♫I’d walk a million miles
For one of your smiles♫
♫My MahahaMeeeeeeeeeeee!♫

+1

Reggie’s dick was this big when he tore my rectum up.

+2

You should have seen it, The Lie that I told was THIS big!

0

Oh yea? Well my bong is this long.

0

This is how I fuck mooch from behind.

+1

Mooch’s ass is this wide… anyone have a 2×4 I can strap to my ass?

0

No Valerie i dont have any choom,go ahead and check.

0

Dont let Moochie ever find out that your Dildo, Valerie, and my hole are made for each other…i jess luvs me a strong woman/man…youse can bang me offen da bed tonight, sweetums…**wink wink**

0

I got caught in a lie this big, funny thing is the MSM is on my side and they just don’t give a crap.

0

How much is a trillion, you ask?

0