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Titanic and Bill Clinton
Andrea tells me the story of a student that happened to be assigned Bill Clinton’s biography and the movie Titanic for homework. They combined the two into one report -
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Titanic:…. Cost – $29.99
Clinton :….. Cost – $29.99
Clinton :….Bill is a bullshit artist.
Clinton :……Clinton, under testimony, doesn’t remember Jack.
Clinton :….. Cost – $29.99
Titanic:….. Over 3 hours to read
Clinton :… Over 3 hours to read
Titanic:….. The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton :… The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Titanic:…. Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton :….Bill is a bullshit artist.
Titanic:…. In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton :…. Ditto for Bill.
Titanic:….. During the ordeal, Rose’s dress gets ruined.
Clinton :….. Ditto for Monica.
Titanic:….. Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton :…. Let’s not go there.
Titanic:….. Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton :…. Monica’ s forced to return her gifts.
Titanic:….. Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton :……Clinton, under testimony, doesn’t remember Jack.
jbinnout
May 15th, 2012
Bwaaaahahahahahaha!!! Laugh out loud!!!
Bad Brad
May 15th, 2012
The Titanic and Bill, both capable to sinking to new all time lows.
Anonymous
May 15th, 2012
let’s hope she is able to reclaim herself better than amy fisher did
Nunya
May 16th, 2012
That was good! I hope the student got an A, at the very least for concise-ness if not also for historical accuracy
Bad Brad
May 16th, 2012
Anonymous, your right. How could she possibly know that guy was married. Are you fing kidding me. She should of had more respect for herself then being used as an ash tray.
The Doktor
May 16th, 2012
Great list! Consider it stolen!!
Bob M.
May 16th, 2012
Titanic: Now on the floor of the Atlantic
Osama Bin Laden: Who Bill Clinton didn’t capture – what with being distracted by Lewinskys – ALSO now on the floor of the Atlantic!
persecutor
May 16th, 2012
Outstanding!
Dano
May 16th, 2012
“Well put!”
Boobie the Racist Dog
May 16th, 2012
I’d LOVE to know how that turned out for the student, the original author, and what blog he’s writing for today.
Callmelennie
May 16th, 2012
And here’s what the band played as the Clintanic went down (sung to the tune of Eleanor Rigby)
Aaaah, look at all the Clinton foibles
Aaaah, look at all the Clinton foibles
Hillary Clinton
Picks up on a vice in a room where an intern has been
Plots her revenge
Stands in the doorway, wielding a vase that she keeps in a jar by the door
Who is it for?
Oh, those nutball Clintons
Where do they all come from
Oh, those nutball Clintons
Where do they all belong
President Clinton, writing the words of a denial that noone will read
There’s just no need
Look at him hurting, icing the knot on his head as he gets her death stare
Why did he dare?
(Refrains)
Hilary Clinton, tried to be Pres but was buried along with her swain
By a guy named Hussein
President Clinton, wiping the dirt from her face that was slung by the Daley machine
End of a dream
Oh, those nutball Clintons
Where do they all come from
Oh, those nutball Clintons
Where do they all belong
MarkInSavannah
May 16th, 2012
Freakin’ hilarious. Best thing I’ll read all day!