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Professor Tim McCarver
Just listen to this jugheaded dunce spew global warming bullshit during a baseball game.
People around the country only get treated to this a-hole’s play-by-play once in awhile. I had to endure mushmouth’s bleating every friggin’ day because he was a longtime Met’s announcer. And he was annoying beyond belief. He was his own instant replay. He would make the most obscure and mundane point and repeat it 5 times, sometimes insisting that the director replay a clip that was just out and out snore inducing and completely inane.
Now, as for this moron’s theory -
Baseball stadiums are, on average, much smaller than they were 50 years ago. There’s been a concerted effort by MLB to increase the excitement of the game by emphasizing the home run. Pitchers pitch faster, players are bigger, bat speed is quicker, the ball is livelier.
Try and follow along, Jughead. There are also domed stadiums that give batters many more opportunities to hit home runs in optimum conditions. There is also a tiny problem with steroids. Home runs were going to increase anyway, due to improved conditions and smaller parks, and superior human conditioning and the incentive of multimillion dollar paychecks for the most prolific power hitters, add in steroids and the only thing thinning is McCarver’s pate.
Move the fences back, slow down the average pitch speed, have the players play outdoors in the northeast in April, make them use heavier bats, and round up a bunch of 1960′s conditioned players to put on a show. You’ll see the air suddenly thicken, like a progressive’s skull.
HT/ Bad Blue (The best aggregator in the country)
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I'm Your Huckleberry
April 29th, 2012
sorry, it wasn’t worth the 30 second commercial, to listen to the jackass and his perceived global warming BS… I’m surprised, he could even talk, with his head, so far up his ass…
the aardvark
April 29th, 2012
I gave up on watching baseball on Fox for the most part last yr. when they interviewed Sarah Silverman during their broadcast time. I was so pissed and I love baseball but if they’re going to talk about anything but baseball forget it. I listen to the Seattle Mariners on the radio because radio paints a better picture in my mind of the beauty of the game of baseball. And I have all but given up on watching TV any longer. I read a lot and listen to my XM radio.
cfm990
April 29th, 2012
The only thin air, is between your ears.
S Czaja
April 29th, 2012
Yes to all the above. I simply can not watch a game and listen to him at the same time. Joe Morgan was almost as bad. He and Morgan have shown signs of dementia on occation. Time for the Home Timmy.
Groucho Marxist
April 29th, 2012
I blame better, stronger athletes, and anabolic steroids.
cfm990
April 29th, 2012
Bark Bark
What’s wrong Lassie?
bark Bark.
Timmy fell down a well, while reading An Inconvenient truth?
Bark Bark
He’s barely holding on?
Bark bark.
Ok girl, you stay here. I’m going to the sports bar to catch the game.
RightWinger
April 29th, 2012
If there is a game on and McCrapper is in the booth calling the game, I don’t watch it. Haven’t in years. He always comes up with the dumbest stats and his attempts at trying to be witty are about as successful as Joe Biden trying to get a paralyzed man to stand up and take a bow.
Two Legged blue Eyed cracker
April 29th, 2012
BFH – good news is that most people ignore them and watch the game.
CrustyB
April 29th, 2012
In 1974 MLB switched from using horsehide to cowhide for making baseballs. Since cows are farting less in a concious effort to reduce their carbon emissions, they bloat. That bloating stretches their hides too thin, which make the ball lighter.
It’s kinda fun thinking like a liberal. You just manufacture your facts as you go.
Dr. Tar
April 29th, 2012
It doesn’t take a genius to blame all that is wrong with the world on climate change / global warming or the more sciency sounding anthropogenic global warming (AGW or in layman terms its all our fault).
For example, “Oh, look I’ve got a hang nail. It must be manmade global warming’s fault since the earth is heating up and my toe nails have deformed because of the increased temperature.”
Explaining an idiotic belief in AGW is another matter.
norman einstein
April 29th, 2012
If the announcer is an idiot, I mute the sound. You don’t miss much at all.
I started doing this a while back. In the bar at my local legion, sometimes they mute the TV so it doesn’t intrude on patrons who aren’t interested.
Everything you need to know is right on the screen.
FreeMan - Save Me Sarah
April 29th, 2012
I think we can prove right now the the air is thinner around the announcer booth. He is the evidence Al G. has been looking for.
Note to Tim, and Al – Since CO2 is heaver then O2 the air would be more dense like your head, thus slowing the ball more, moron.
Pressure at sea level is 15 lbs/sq. inch, and is still the same even after the SUV.
Mike H
April 29th, 2012
Really? Like the fictional character Coach from “Cheers” fame, McCarver has proven taking to many fast balls to the head certainly does lead to brain damage.
“Cheers: Any Friend of Diane’s (#1.6)” (1982)
Rebecca Prout: Pardon me.
Ernie ‘Coach’ Pantusso: Oh, hi.
Rebecca Prout: I’m looking for a Diane Chambers.
Ernie ‘Coach’ Pantusso: Ah, you’re in luck. We got a Diane Chambers.
Rebecca Prout: I beg your pardon?
Ernie ‘Coach’ Pantusso: I hope you only want one.
Rebecca Prout: Do you sense, as I do, that this conversation is an exercise in futility?
Ernie ‘Coach’ Pantusso: Thank you very much.
Alfa06
April 29th, 2012
McCarver started his baseball career as a football player before they wore helmets.
Birdie Num Num
April 29th, 2012
This is pretty much the level of understanding the pop culture has marinated most of the population in.
Woefully educated in genuine physical sciences, logic and critical thinking,most of the people are an easy sell for any fad “pet rock” idea.
LTC F
April 29th, 2012
So…we’ve found something McCarver knows less about than baseball.
TooMuchTime
April 29th, 2012
I’m gonna go with Daniel Tosh on this one. I think we should encourage steroid use. The fans want to see homeruns, not bunt, steal, steal, sac fly. Juice up the players until they urinate blood. Except the pitchers. The tops speed of a pitch should be about 80mph. Move the fences in another 25 feet and lower them to 2 feet high. Eventually, we’ll just end up with an adult version of T-ball.
As for McCraven — I stopped listening to that baffoon long ago. When the play-by-play announcer in one game was making an analogy to football, McCraven cut him off and went into some slobbering there-is-no-other-sport-greater-than-baseball taurusfimus and changed the subject just as fast. Even though football announcers would use baseball analogies all the time.
Get a grip, Timmy. You were an average catcher while you played and you’re barely one click above retard when it comes to science.
Ornery1
April 29th, 2012
Why aren’t the Colorado Rockies leading the league in home runs?
Anonymous
April 29th, 2012
Tim McCarver is a former catcher and I think all those low bouncing fastballs to his manhood area have had a cumultive effct on his mental capacity.
The Doktor
May 2nd, 2012
Mc….Carver….suffering….from…..oxygen…..starvation!