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My Call To Sleep Number

Home - by - March 6, 2012 - 18:54 America/New_York - 39 Comments

My Call to Pro Flowers

» 39 Comments

  1. Betula

    March 6th, 2012

    Now that’s funny!

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +12

     
  2. conservative cowgirl

    March 6th, 2012

    The calls just keep getting better! Go Breitfur!

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +31

     
  3. reddecaesari

    March 6th, 2012

    hahahahahhahaha

    Thumb up +8

     
  4. Don't Tread On Me

    March 6th, 2012

    CALLER: “Ah.. is this Sleep Number Bed? Hello?”
    REP: “Yes sir, this is Sleep Number and my name is Jim, how can I help you today?”

    CALLER: “Well, I need a good bed for support. For my back. I have a condition.”

    REP: “Well I know we can help you with that. I’d like to send you some information- what’s your main complaint? Muscle aches? Snoring? May I ask?”

    Caller: “I have no spine.”

    REP: “Uh…. wow. Really? Wow. Uh…. well, let me get your name and address for that information. Name please? First and last?”

    CALLER: “B-A-R-A-C-K, O-B-A-M-A. President.”

    (click.)

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +40

     
  5. Jerry Manderin

    March 6th, 2012

    Oh my! LOL!

    Thumb up +8

     
  6. iamthegps

    March 6th, 2012

    I see you are well-versed in the art of trolling… I’m surprised the poor guy didn’t hang up on you the moment you started talking about sex. ^-^

    Thumb up +9

     
  7. Sarthurk

    March 6th, 2012

    SWEET!

    Har Har!

    How can I do this without getting into trouble? I mean, I’m a citizen after all. I’m responsible for my actions. Oh wait, I just now realized that non – citizens and constitutional detractors are exempt from any rules….

    phuch it, I’m gonna raise hell anyway…

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +12

     
  8. Spon

    March 6th, 2012

    OMFG, Priceless….

    Thumb up +8

     
  9. singinintherain

    March 6th, 2012

    @conservative cowgirl I like the new name..Breitfur!!! : )

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +14

     
  10. Stirrin the B.S.

    March 6th, 2012

    HAHAHAHA – you’re getting better with each call.

    I mean really, a bed is part of the sexual experience, so why wouldn’t Obumphukcare cover it? I’m on board with that.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +19

     
  11. Debbie

    March 6th, 2012

    Hahaha! BF Hat, were you ever on stage? You’re a natural!

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +11

     
  12. plemmen

    March 6th, 2012

    “it’s part of my sexual being”. Soda came out my nose! Flucking genius! Now if you pose as an insurance plan executive willing to cover the sleep number bed if prescribed by a Planned Parenthood affiliated physician … I wonder how far you get run with that one …

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +14

     
  13. RCCA

    March 6th, 2012

    “Sleep” Numb-her bed

    It’s not the number you can have in the bed, it’s the number of times you can have “it” in the bed.

    Really funny shtick.

    Thumb up +7

     
  14. Czar of Defenestration

    March 6th, 2012

    I hesitated in the first “phone call” post.
    But, OMG, Fur, you sound like a Woody Allen DOPPELGÄNGER.
    (…you’re not doing your adopted daughter, are you?!?)

    Keep up the good work!

    Thumb up +8

     
  15. Gina

    March 6th, 2012

    this is great! kudos to our furry friend :D

    Thumb up +7

     
  16. shootersgrandma

    March 6th, 2012

    Try to take out a loan now with Quicken Loans for your girlfriend’s birth control because the d*** insurance won’t pay for it.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +11

     
  17. Nunya

    March 6th, 2012

    Not only that, but Rush has given several shout-outs to Sleep Number Bed during his broadcast, even gave one away once on-air

    I assume the call from Mr Hat is because SNB bailed on Rush? And also to expose leftist hypocrisy? If so, then well done “Mr B.F. Hat” LOL :D

    P.S. I like your NY accent too; where’s it from?

    Thumb up +7

     
  18. Merry Poppet

    March 6th, 2012

    Hilarious! :) This is why no one can out-troll you, BFH. You are the master.

    Thumb up +7

     
  19. conservativeBC

    March 6th, 2012

    He furhat you are about as good as Roy D. Mercer, a guy we have here in Oklahoma

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofIa8Qcaqt0

    Thumb up +4

     
  20. conservativeBC

    March 6th, 2012

    All you need to do now is start opening a can of wup-ass!

    Thumb up +4

     
  21. Moe Tom

    March 6th, 2012

    Oh for fuck sake that was hillfuckinglairous BFH. you are the Devil. I approve this message

    Thumb up +8

     
  22. FaceFaceMan

    March 6th, 2012

    Great stuff. Ridiculously funny. Next time, demand to speak to a supervisor.
    It’s not a war on Women,
    it’s a war on freedom. *via Rush

    Thumb up +8

     
  23. reliapundit

    March 6th, 2012

    another great one bfh!

    seriously:

    is there anything leftists think people should pay for themselves?

    not abortions. or contraceptives. or education. or mortgages. or education. or daycare. retirement. or even gender reassignment.

    and what they don’t think the government should buy for them, they want a subsidy for.

    sheesh.

    they feel they have the right to make us to pay for their crap and when they get it they think it’s “free”.

    they think that it’s fair to have a government take away what we sweat for so the government can give it to them

    that isn’t economic justice; it’s grand larceny.

    and it ain’t taking from the rich to give to the poor.

    it’s burdening the productive to pay for the unproductive.

    and that diminishes production and makes us all poorer.

    i say, if a social need is one that would be embarrassing to have a charity for, then the government has no business under-writing it.

    can you imagine anyone seriously hosting a telethon for law students’ contraceptives?

    the left is freakin’ insane!

    :)

    Thumb up +7

     
  24. shootersgrandma

    March 6th, 2012

    “is there anything leftists think people should pay for themselves?”

    Yes, reliapundit, if they can afford it, people should pay their own taxes!

    Oh, wait a minute, there’s still Earned Income Credit, isnt’ there?!?!

    Thumb up +4

     
  25. DizzyMissLizzy

    March 6th, 2012

    I am just hoping that there is a lube company that pulls their advertising next.

    Thumb up +6

     
  26. Menderman

    March 6th, 2012

    Is there such thing as reverse misogyny? Obama said this about contraception:

    “Insurance companies will be required to provide contraception coverage to these women free of charge.”

    Shouldn’t dudes get free rubbers?

    context here: http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2012/02/10/fact-sheet-women-s-preventive-services-and-religious-institutions

    I wonder if Mark Levin will take this case. I feel violated and discriminated against. I’ll bet there are about 1,000 laws and 100 or so government agencies designed to prevent this blatant gender discrimination. What about folks with gender identy issues that schools have to accomodate? Do they get fre pills and rubbers?

    Isn’t Fluke all about gender equality even if you are not sure what gender you are? Shouldn’t she be advocating for free rubbers for dudes with boobs? What about free dental dams for butt munchers? I read about that need…apparently “rimming” is like nasty and really bad for your mouth…all this is so confusing….

    Thumb up +8

     
  27. ERB

    March 6th, 2012

    GROSS to the above comment

    Thumb up +7

     
  28. Menderman

    March 6th, 2012

    Thank You ERB.

    Thumb up +5

     
  29. Frosteetoes

    March 6th, 2012

    Better than the Jerky Boys fo sho’!

    Thumb up +3

     
  30. TooMuchTime

    March 6th, 2012

    Is there anything leftists think people should pay for themselves?

    Well, since Mr. Joshua Thompson of Livonia, MI is going to sue movie theaters for overcharging, I’ll bet these will be paid for by the taxpayers too. I’m sure hollyweird will go for that. Guaranteed revenues and all.

    Here’s my take on taxpayers paying for “rights.”

    Thumb up +4

     
  31. The Ugly American

    March 6th, 2012

    BFH has taken up the Breitbart sword and declared No Prisoners.

    Bravo…

    Thumb up +8

     
  32. Mary Jane Anklestraps

    March 6th, 2012

    Bwaahaahahaha! “my girlfriend went in front of congress..”

    Thumb up +2

     
  33. RPFreeSpeech

    March 7th, 2012

    Fur (or BF, as you prefer to be known)…I so love your ‘Noo Yawk’ accent…and soooo love your ‘Breitfurness’ in making these calls.

    You got nuttin’…nuttin’ but GENIUS!

    KEEP GOING!

    Thumb up +5

     
  34. Jayne

    March 7th, 2012

    Wickedly funny, really strung me along trying to anticipate the punch line – never saw it coming.

    Thumb up +3

     
  35. Nutjob

    March 7th, 2012

    Thats some funny shit!

    Silly fur, everyone knows the sleep number in Flukes case means take a number to be next in line to sleep with her in bed….thus the reason she wants condoms paid for.

    I’ll bet if congress pressed her enough they would’ve found out she also meant douches.

    Thumb up +2

     
  36. David Kramer

    March 7th, 2012

    Okay, I am calling in and acting as the boyfriend of Fluke. I am going to ask for a free bed for my sexual fantasies. I deserve it! Breitbart was my inspiration and tomorrow BFH is my example. I will drive them crazy!

    Thumb up +2

     
  37. Horrorman18

    March 7th, 2012

    Deer in the headlights on that last remark!!! Nice job BFH!!! …btw…as far as Fluke…did you have to take a now serving # like you have to at the deli?

    Thumb up +3

     
  38. "Crabs" McFluke

    March 7th, 2012

    What the fluke! that was fluking amazing! You ARE da man! ( In a non sexist, non-misogynistic, gender neutral manner, of course) and you never lose control, snort, sniggle or chortle.
    Is it true that the slut is now trying to emphasize her sincerity by leaving her name and number on all the men’s room walls at school, and asking that people of good will would wash out their used condoms and send to her?
    What a fluking tard she is!
    Well, as my horny old grandpa use to say, in the moment of passion, to his vinyl blow up doll – Keep on flukin’, baby!

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  39. Slutney McFluke no relation to Crabs

    March 7th, 2012

    BTW – it is true that I had to have a special Y shaped bed made, as I can’t seem to keep my legs together. And at night, I can only dream about being savaged by that throbbing hunk of man-meant called The Rushmeister! I awaken from my sweat drenched dreams, screaming, Rushie, rushie, make me a woman! But then his face melds into that of Nappy Napolitano, and she growls, “That ain’t gonna happen!”
    I am so sad and confused!
    - your everready pal, Slutney

    Thumb up +1