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The Moose Chronicles – Michelle’s Grazing Habits

Home - by - February 21, 2012 - 14:00 America/New_York - 12 Comments

The White House Dossier

Does Michelle Obama really over-satiate herself on adipose-inducing feasts while lecturing kids to clean up their diets?

Yes, according to the most scientific study to date.

Obviously intending to counter Michelle’s critics, food writer Marian Burros, working for POLITICO, treated herself to lunch and/or dinner at “the 33 or more restaurants in the Washington area” where Michelle has grazed in Washington since her husband took office.

Can you imagine? Such diligence and sacrifice.

The result is a classic unintended scientific finding. Burros appears to have set out to prove that Mrs. Obama eats like an undernourished wild rabbit, citing the “vitriol” poured on her concerning her food habits by “anti-Obama blogs.”

In fact, Burros finds – though she doesn’t acknowledge it – that the excess weight Michelle is usually carrying around was not put there by a mysterious and unwelcome Act of God.

She eats poorly.

Burros discovers and celebrates that Michelle does eat vegetables. But that’s like saying a murderer sometimes commits burglaries. The problem is with Michelle’s core diet, much of which seems to be fried, sitting on a bone, or infested with sucrose.

Here at White House Dossier, we have a little fun with Michelle’s marked proclivity to overeat and overeat and serve unhealthy food to guests again and again, while pointing out the hypocrisy of her simultaneously telling others how to eat.

Not since Richard Simmons’s paunch protruded over his skimpy shorts has a worse Apostle of the path to health presented themselves to the public.


ht/ illust8r


  1. Nunya

    February 21st, 2012

    LOL “grazing” :D Just like the cow she is, no offense to our bovine friends who unlike the FLATUS are cute and useful and provide delicious beef and dairy products

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +11

  2. Boobie the Racist Dog

    February 21st, 2012

    Happy to find out that she hasn’t yet troughed at KINKEAD’s, among the BEST restaurants in DC and owned by a cousin.

    Thumb up +1

  3. The O must go

    February 21st, 2012

    Socialism is for the masses and not for the Socialists.

    “Shared Sacrifice” means everyone else needs to sacrifice for the benefit of the collective.

    The Democratic Party – I can’t believe it’s not Communism

    Thumb up +6

  4. bitterclinger

    February 21st, 2012

    “Burros discovers and celebrates that Michelle does eat vegetables. But that’s like saying a murderer sometimes commits burglaries.”


    Thumb up +2

  5. hanoverfist

    February 21st, 2012

    There is no way a Burro can eat as much as a Wookie.

    Thumb up +3

  6. Goldenfoxx

    February 21st, 2012

    This info wouldn’t phase a cocoapuffer welfare recipient. They buy the best of everything – lobster, steak, shrimp just like the Moose, using the taxpayer’s money. Which candidate has the balls to use this information in his campaign speech or in a debate with Obummer? Now that would be rich!

    Thumb up +4

  7. Dr. Tar

    February 21st, 2012

    So Mochelle’s habit of having her cake and eating ours to is catching up to her.

    Thumb up +6

  8. mkultra

    February 21st, 2012

    It’s common for sasquatches to protect their food by defecating near it. Smart diplomats ask to be seated far away from moochie at state dinners.

    Thumb up +3

  9. Melody

    February 21st, 2012

    MQQchie’s motto, never practice what you preach!

    Pay the tadder buds please.

    Thumb up +3

  10. Nutjob

    February 21st, 2012


    Agree 100%, its not like these democratic progs riding the short bus don’t give them ammo………EVERYDAY.

    The Rinos need to bow the hell out if america is to stand a chance of surviving, unless they like the democrats are in this together.

    Thumb up +1

  11. Nutjob

    February 21st, 2012

    Must be glandular as to why her ass is so big and has nothing to do with eating fried food and grazing 24/7

    Thumb up +2

  12. Peter

    February 22nd, 2012

    Pigs in power.

    Thumb up 0