Let The Punishment Fit Kermit’s Crime
In a perfect world, Kermit the Baby Butcher would face an industrial lopper to the back of the neck. After all, he’s just a late, late, late, late, late term abortion.
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I Want My A La Carte TV
John McCain, the media’s favorite “maverick” – unless he’s actively running for something – has just introduced a bill in congress called the Television Consumer Freedom Act of 2013.
Normally, my iron clad rule of thumb is to take any side this guy is against but I have to admit he may have a point here.
The bill would allow consumers to buy only the cable channels they want “a la carte” and not have 500 others jammed down their throats.
Does anyone recall the original promise of cable TV?
More than 30 years ago we asked, “why should we pay 20 dollars a month for TV when it doesn’t cost anything now?”
The official answer was, “because programming will be commercial free!” Not only that, we were going to get much more than the dozen or so channels we were used to. That was then. My, how times have changed.
They were certainly right about the channels. We got hundreds. And then, hundreds more.
And every damn one of them has commercials up the wazoo except the classic movie channel. (Their policy is to remain commercial free but to destroy your will to live with commentary by Drew Barrymore and Cher.)
The cost of cable, which is easily over 200 dollars a month, doesn’t even include any of the other movie channels which are all “extra”.
Why in God’s name am I paying for hundreds of channels of programming I have absolutely no need for?
I’m not the parent of small kids anymore so I don’t need Nickelodeon or any of the kids networks.
I’m an English speaking American so I don’t want 10 Spanish language stations.
I’m not a liberal so I have no use for CBS, NBC, ABC, PBS, CNN, MSNBC, HBO, or “Comedy” Central.
I’m not gay, (or even sure about all those letters in that LGBTQ thing), so I don’t need Bravo, Logo, or HDTV.
I have no interest in professional sports so I don’t want ESPN, or any of the other 20 sports networks.
I don’t choose my entertainment based on the color of people’s skin so I have no use for BET.
I’m old enough to remember the original Global Cooling Hoax so I don’t want the Current network.
I love my country so I don’t need Robert Redford’s channel.
I’m not an imbecile so I have no use for MTV or E!
I’m not a 10th Century Savage bent on beheading people because I just saw a woman without a dishrag on her head so I don’t want Algore-Jazeera.
In fact, ironically, more than 30 years after first getting cable I think I can now narrow my viewing preferences down to a dozen or so channels.
Look, I don’t want to dictate to anyone else what they can and should be watching. If you want to start a new LGBTQ network, go right ahead. More power to ya. And if you want to choose between 20 LGBTQ networks on your cable system you have my blessing. I just don’t want to pay for it anymore.
-Irony Curtain
An iOTW “Earth Day” Perennial
How can you do your part on this so-called “Earth Day”? Easy! Any time you get an email today from some business or individual telling you to “go green” or some similar crap, reply to them with this graphic and tell them they’ve earned a subscription to GreeNazi magazine!
Happy Easter Everyone
And let me also start another tradition. Today could also be Change Your Homepage To ANYTHING But Google Day. Why not, they’ve already declared, “Drop Dead, Christians! This is Chavez Day.” So, they won’t miss us.
Captions, Please
Man, is this one teed up and ready for you to take a swing at.
Rino-Pasty
Looks like this inadvertently became a “Caption Please”. OK, have at it!
